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What I do:
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What I wish I could do:

elshion reblogged your post: i feel sexy af in this outfit
At my college Ive seen people who come to class in BDSM gear, Furry outfits,...
inner moroccan in me judging the shit out of anyone who uses mint for anything other than tea
kittens have their first sips of water [x]
“GOD DAMN THAT’S REFRESHING”
I SAY GODDAMN
(via socialcordial)
When Oscar Wilde was asked to list his 100 favourite books he said he couldn’t because “I have only written five”.
Don’t forget his famous last words:
“Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.”
You, I like.
Also “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
And “Sometimes I’m so clever I have no idea what i’m saying.”
(via gisellenoir)
http://rottencomix.tumblr.com/ submitted
This is HANDS DOWN my favorite grammatical example.
i am such an oxford comma enthusiast
same
(via thecouscousqueen)
I hate the phrase “boys will be boys” and I think it should be replaced with “bad parenting results in assholes”
(via thecouscousqueen)
Hope Depot Slogan Still Applies to Restrooms
Their customer service really goes above and beyond.
God I love reddit.
There is nothing sweet or savory about the rotting carcass of a chicken twisted and crushed with cruelty. There is nothing delicious about bloodmouth carnist food. How does it feel knowing your stomach is a graveyard?
I’m sorry, but you just inadvertently wrote the most METAL description of eating a chicken sandwich in the history of mankind.
MY STOMACH IS A GRAVEYARD
NO LIVING BEING CAN QUENCH MY BLOODTHIRST
I SWALLOW MY ENEMIES WHOLE
ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE KENTUCKY FRIED
KENTUCKY. FRIED. DEATH!
*shredding guitar solo*
*death growls*
I love Tumblr.
My best friend found this and posted it on her Facebook wall. And now I’m totally losing my shit.

I’m not sure which is more hilarious - that they misspelled Al-Jazeera on an official advert, or that they actually had an entire conference about this.
God I love crazy people.
I think I may be the only person on earth happy to see the Twinkie die.
Namely, because it’s a cross between high fructose corn syrup and an ass sandwich.
Day 616 - Not Amused
I’d like to think I am a funny guy…
NOTES: Made in Adobe Illustrator.
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True story.